Happy Birthday to Me!

For our birthdays my parents either make us a birthday dinner or we go out to dinner. This year I was craving Cafe Rio, Yummy. I always get the Cafe Rio Salad with Pork. I am getting hungry just writing about it.

My Nephew Caleb.
Mama and me.

After dinner we headed over to my parents for a guitar hero tournament. I am sorry to say that I only took second or third, and that was after having a panic attack.

My brother Chad, who never looks at the camera, and my niece Brynnlee and her new Willy Wonka hair-do.

Mini Maya

Chad, Lindsey and Ellie

Tara, Nick and my dad. Nick had to fly back to Michigan on Monday, but Tara and Maya are still here and it has been so fun to have them here. Carson and Maya are so cute together...who would have thought that those 2 would get along the best out of all the grandkids.

On my actual birthday Meags took me to the Ivy for a Pedicure. It was very nice. She came to pick me up and waiting in the car for me was a nice cold Dr. Pepper. She is such a great friend and has helped me through some hard times and gives me great advice when my brain isn't working quite right. I think everyone needs one good friend that knows just about everything about you and still wants to be your friend. Thanks again Meagan.

Look at the concentration on that grandpa. The Sunday before my birthday we had my family up for dinner, all except Chad and his family, they were driving home from Idaho that night. This was our first tournament and I won! Dad took a miserable last place, mom and Tara even beat him and neither had ever played before.

My mom had lost 50 pounds since March. I think she is looking pretty good.

Above I mentioned having a panic attack while playing guitar hero. I haven't had one for almost 2 1/2 years but lately they seem to be coming quite frequently. The first one started coming on at church at the end of November. We were in Sacrament meeting sitting in the middle section and I had both the kids sitting next to me. As usual they start getting bored and start laying all over me. All of a sudden I felt like I was going to vomit and I felt trapped and getting escape. I un-velcroed the children from me and concentrated on my breathing and that got me through Sacrament meeting. For Sunday school I was in the library helping my neighbor and then we had a combined Priesthood and RS lesson. It was held in a 1/3 of the cultural hall and we sat up against a wall and again people were everywhere around us. I thought maybe I was coming down with something, but by the time we got home the stomach ache was gone, but I was exhausted. Later I was telling my mom about it and she said, "it sounds like your panic attacks again." That should have been the first thing I thought of, but I haven't had one for a while. I have had a few more attacks since then and it is like an out of body experience. Everything gets blurry, my eyes dilate, I can hear people talking but I can't really respond except to mumble. So, what causes these attacks? At first it was when I would be in a competitive mode, like a track meet, then they started coming when I would get in front of a class in college to do a report (never in high school though), I had an attack on my wedding day in the Temple (embarrassing...you sure you want to marry that Allen?) Then in Sacrament meeting...TWICE!!! There are times when I just need to tell the Bishops no and that is one time. I always think that I can do it this time and tell them yes and then, sure enough, bam! So this last little while it has been in crowds and I did start freaking out before my dad's family's Christmas Party, but that is a whole different can of worms. So, what do you do to overcome this? I haven't been to church the last couple of weeks because I will start freaking out before we even leave the house. This next week I plan on sitting in the back at Sacrament meeting and seeing if that will help.